This change please on god — From the notebooks
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
Bro, this is how I’ve been feeling, like I’m 28 this shift in myself
Bro, God doesn’t even want me.
The truth needs to be read, by the curiosity of your own mind to be at ease,
For the sake of my sanity to be at peace.
I smoke cigarettes because I can’t leave this earth to be remembered as a selfish person.
I don’t take the medicine that can slow down the internal virus that I was once ok to get because I saw the pain of wars that person went through, and I wanted them to know I’m not like anyone else.
It was just the way we first met.
I sold drugs, just to feel the realness of brotherhood.
I took shots at my soul for your tears, and mind to feel at peace.
I had to accept the way the two people who made me in the acts of love,
That’s your mom, no matter what…
By a man that was my first step into the meaning love beyond family.
I mean no matter who I cried to
No matter who I dragged her name to
I was never valid.
Bro even my father, never even cared or better yet one of the best actors to ever exist in my lifetime.
The physical torture,
I mean even that mandated reporter was nothing but the mask of fathers hatred for me.
Crying every day and night,
Locked in my room.
When I ran drugs they’d do sweeps.
No matter how much or how little.
My room was always jail cell.
Just bars.
I’m at the end of myself
ya know what’s even more crazy
I’m the most successful person to ever be born in the bloodline of my family mothers side or fathers.
I mean born with a gift that even I get told I’m this time era prophet.
It’s like the saying in one ear out of the other.
My life is catching up to the max of catch 22.
God doesn’t want me.
Why I’m alone
always aloneee
Why I’m alone in rooms full of people.
Why I’m alone when I’m the one everybody calls.
Why I’m alone when I broke every curse.
Why I’m alone when I gave everything.
Why I’m always aloneee.
Then what do I do.
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